We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Vessels

by Jay Verchin

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $7 USD  or more

     

1.
Chiron 03:19
You’re my missing piece A thousand leagues down and you were the key You became woven into my life so fast Thank you for being everything I need I heard your voice for the first time And the sound, it let me breathe You healed me In the deepest trench you were glowing blue Phosphorescent, from out of nowhere you appeared I heard your voice for the first time And the sound, it let me breathe You healed me From the tides we rose I can see the constellations light years out from home With no moon above, Chiron shines out from your eyes, They’re brighter than the sun And I heard my heart for the first time It said “I love you” then I felt it then In the deepest trench you were glowing blue Phosphorescent, from out of nowhere you appeared I heard your voice for the first time And the sound, it let me breathe You healed me And I heard my heart for the first time It said “I love you” then I told you then I open my mouth I’m an open book but the pages all fall out Drenched in heavy rain The raging waters of thoughts untamed So please search for them, the things I haven’t said They’re drowning me but I need to breathe
2.
I came from shattered windshields and broken doors And torn up throats from screaming too long With nowhere else to hide except for under my covers Where I saw no light I grew up seven years without feeling safe enough Just to leave my room But you taught me comfort and showed me grace, And now I leave my door wide open for you You’re the only one that’s made anywhere feel like a home You’re the only one that’s made me believe I don’t have to cry alone So anyways, thanks for giving me all I missed out on I’ve always loved the city, but I wouldn’t mind Going off the grid if you’re by my side ‘Cause it’s the little things that make this place a home Like getting all dressed up, or checking the doors And oh, this is all so new and exciting, Feeling love and comfort for the very first time And I never owed you any explanation ‘Cause I know you’ve known me in every iteration You’re the only one that’s made anywhere feel like a home You’re the only one that’s given me a reason like I could never know So anyways, thanks for being someone to rely on
3.
Gauntlet 01:45
Instrumental
4.
You’ve always felt like a spectre to me, You came, I saw you, now you’re fleeting I wish I could keep you with me forever But instead you’re free-roaming You’re so unreal, it’s mystical I wish I had something, anything at all, Some part of you I can keep when you leave, Some proof of life of my love, my everything My everything I want proof of us, what we were and what we have, And how it’s so special, how it’s irreplaceable You’re always here with me in my heart, and I don’t think that ever will change, But what if it does? What if all I’m left with is faded memories, Losing your voice in a sea of dissonance, So that’s why I need something, anything at all, Some piece of you I can hold when you’re gone, Some proof of life so that I can carry on I need to carry on I want proof so even when you’re gone I can hope to feel something, anything at all, Even just a glimmer of what we had But you’re so unreal, intangible I’m reaching for something to hold when I fall Some part of you, so when you depart I’ll have proof of life of you, the one who changed my heart
5.
Chronology 02:27
I wish that I’d known just this time last year That everything set in stone would change But even if the sands erode all I’ve ever known, The magic here always stays the same Time just moves too fast and my heart too slow To look outside and recognize the rain Until there comes a thunderstorm that shakes my world I always assume the moon will shine on me again I wish that I’d known just this time last year (Time just moves too fast and my heart too slow) That everything set in stone would change (To look outside and recognize the rain) But even if the sands erode (until there comes a thunderst-) All I’ve ever known The magic always will shine on me again.
6.
I sailed your waters but they ignited around me So I capsized, jump ship - hoping that’s what could save me But in the fiery debris Comes the wrath of my baggage, my grief’s release. Please don’t let me die While the smoke clouds your star in the sky I need you, my firefly I can hear your horses cry but your prince leaves me out to dry And I see our life flash before my eyes An arrows shot through my heart makes me bleed And its poison seeps in, but its weight only belongs to me So I sink into blazing waters Confused by my rage, I just fan the flames hotter And they burn my fingertips, Every memory of touch Left to melt away with my skin What’s there left to cry When I can’t find your star in the sky? Come to me, my firefly. I see the flames and your waves collide What can I do when my selfish pride’s Just the shell that you’ve left behind? In this eclipse will I be left to reside? Without your light in my eyes, I need you dear firefly. And I’ll look for you in the sky, my firefly.
7.
Instrumental
8.
Moonsong 02:37
Here’s where my prayer begins: The moon shall kiss you nightly dear So even on a lightless night Her dawn shines on from behind your eyes So even with brooding skies that obstruct your view Her path homeward lives in you You can have your space But I’ll gaze on up to the stars Just to make sure you’re okay Though you won’t need me to; The strength of the moon has always lived with you
9.
XIII 04:00
When the day finally comes When your shoes won’t line the doorway And I won’t hold you nightly ‘fore I go to sleep I know that there are things That you can’t leave behind And things that I know that I can’t keep I swear to you, I vow to you, To hold on to every piece that I can I promise you, I’ll keep every artifact with my soul So when we die, I’ll know how to find you again We’ll rebuild our home into each other's hearts But for now my sky has come crashing down again Until death do us part, I devote myself to this cause To making sure that every version of me Finds every version of you, I know I will But I swear to you, I vow to you, To hold on to every piece that I can I promise you, I’ll keep every artifact with my soul So when we die, I’ll know how to find you again We’ll rebuild our home into each other's hearts But for now my sky has come crashing down again How will you find me when this future diverts from our past? So I’ll dissolve into this uneasiness, But I’m sure we’ll find each other again.
10.
Melinoe 05:48
Is this how you think of me? Is this how you want me to be? With all the nights I’ve cried, Does that show you what you do to me? I can’t escape from it, The creature in my sight When I look in the mirror And I’m split between black and white. It’s become my worst fear, So my eyes begin to fill with tears But I’m split down the middle, torn in two, In an everlasting war, do I show myself if it hurts you? Please don’t let me become your ghost But you’re the perfect host How did we end up this way? Has all this time just been a lie? Am I forced into love With no control of my emotions? How can I know that what I’m thinking Are my own thoughts anymore? This has gone on far too long, But I can’t shake this hole I call my home And I’m split down the middle, torn in two, In an everlasting war, should I show myself if it hurts you? Please don’t let me become the ghost Of what you fear the most I was split down the middle, torn in two, And I chose to give you my heart, I showed myself and it hurt you Now you wear the mark of my ghost, It’s what I feared the most _____________________________________________________ “Problemchild, why can’t you just be normal?” You ask yourself, “Why am I just so horrible?” And you’re tryin’ so hard to fight the good fight But you smell their fear when they look in your eyes Then maybe, you’re not the problem, problemchild, Maybe, you’re not the problem, problemchild Problemchild, why do you keep on fighting And screaming, even no one cares enough to listen You speak the truth, that is undeniable But just because it hurts doesn’t mean that truth is vile And you feel your fight is unrecognized Till you see them squirm because goddamn you’re right You’re learning, you’re not the problem, problemchild, You’re learning, you’re not the problem, problemchild, Learning, you’re not the problem, problemchild, You know now, you’re not the problem, problemchild.
11.
I know I’ve been gone two years, It’s felt like forever, really But through laughter and through tears I’ve learned lots about my being And this world that we live in Oh how it’s a playground in a minefield, surely But I wouldn’t trade my memories for all the wealth in the world ‘Cause flying is real and I’ve done it, The highs are hollow but luscious are lows Magic is real and i’ve seen it, It’s in all the details that make this world whole Love does exist and I’ve felt it, It lives in the arms of someone you call home Home is so sweet and I know you will find it So don’t let it go Time never stops And one day you will learn that So even on your dying day Please know you are born again And so, you are endless, Please never forget that.
12.
Vessels 04:58
You were my missing piece You filled up all the holes in me But now the wounds reopen so I need someone to close them, please? You’ve never felt real to me Finding home was a fantasy You gave me something to believe in, and someone to rely on So please when you leave, if you could leave the light on ‘Cause I’ve no more songs to sing to you If fireflies fill your skies And the sands of time will someday erode the moon That once lead me back to you When our songs get lost in time And the world no longer puts your hand in mine And our vessels lie empty, a thought that used to scare me I think of who we can be in our next lives ‘Cause we are more than real And this life hasn’t just been a lie Everything you’ve taught me will live in the vault of my heart For when we restart I’m sorry all you’ve seen in me Is just a shadow of your ghost But we are endless And in every life I know I’ve loved you the most
13.
Hello 05:17
Well now I feel I’ve wasted all this time But I guess that’s alright? And shooting off flares is a losing fight When you won't look to the sky. And if you hear this, I surely must’ve died, I hope at least, you cried And hey! Life sucks, but you can’t say I didn’t try So hello from the next life! Hello again, if I ever said goodbye We’ll try again, in another place, another time You’ve done so much for me, more than I ever could comprehend So I know one day we’ll meet again. Close your eyes, please with me won’t you lie Before time runs me dry? I know I’ve hurt you, but I hope that now you know That I’ll be always by your side From now until the day I die. Hello again, if I’ve ever said goodbye Won’t you come again to me in another life We’re such a mess but I don’t think we know us any other way So I’m sure we’ll meet again some day Hello hello, I don’t wanna say goodbye to you In every lifetime I will always be a fool for you I don’t wanna rewind but I’ve learned that every time our life ends Is when we get to start again. Hello, hello, Someday we'll get to start again.

about

A long overdue exploration of grief, friendship, and adulthood.

credits

released June 4, 2021

Music, lyrics, and songwriting by Jay Verchin

Recorded, mixed, mastered and produced by Eric L’Esperance at Black Water Studio in Worcester, MA.

Trumpet on 'Anywhere, Anyways' and 'Hello' by Peter L'Esperance

Album artwork by Kittrex

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Jay Verchin Worcester, Massachusetts

Always colorful, never apologetic.

they/them

banner and pfp by Anna Friberg

contact / help

Contact Jay Verchin

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like Jay Verchin, you may also like: